decisions

I am a week away from the end of my clerkship year of medical school (the third year).  I love surgery a lot, but it also requires a commitment for life and how I live my life that I am not willing to make.  I'm not willing to give up my relationships or research for it.

I've come to peace, at least to some degree, with the tragedy inherent in medicine.  Death, disability, and illness were always part of life, but simply concealed from me by age, youth, health, and the societal setup that shunts the old and ill to their own institutions rather than having them in a community.

This is life.  Death is part of life.  Illness will come to all of us barring a traumatic accident.  Old age will wear down our bodies.  It makes my own life rather urgent, in a way.  Seize the day.  Do what counts.  Love the people around you.  Enjoy youth and health while you have it, and the love and wisdom that comes with age and time while you have it.

We don't have forever on this earth. Make it count.