Thursday, March 15, 2018

unknowing

When I applied for medical school, the gray curtain that hung between me and the future - that inability to imagine where I would be in the country, what school I would go to, and what my life might look like - was distressing.  I didn't like the uncertainty, the not-knowing state of the whole year that narrowed as I got interviews and finally collapsed to a few discrete possibilities once I got acceptance letters.

This time around, I asked a lot of advice.  I spent time listening to my heart.  I made provisions for a wide range of futures.

And ultimately, for the most part, I'm pretty happy about the majority of them.  They are different.  The residencies have different personalities, different locations.  I will have a different life, different friends, different opportunities, different hobbies.  I will eat different kinds of food.  In some places, I will have a car; in others, I will walk or use public transit.  Some have more outdoors opportunities than others; some have more sunshine than others. They are different.

Tonight is my last night not knowing where I will be for the next 3-4 years.  I think I'm at peace with (most) of the places I might end up.  But this time around, I'm pretty excited to find out what's going to happen next.

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